What is the Quest?

I realize that I have not previously spelled out what my quest is, though I get at it a bit in the description of the blog on the left and in the early post "Hard Times". But, I can't succeed in my quest without clearly knowing its goal. So, here it is:

My Jewbu quest is about balance and happiness. The Jewish part of me is deeply rooted in tradition and history, in finding meaning and worth in honoring those before me and making the world a better place for those who will come after me. The Jewish part of me is neurotic and anxious. The Buddhist part of me wants to find happiness in the present moment (not the past or the future), to connect with life here and now. I want to balance these parts of myself.

I also need to balance the Israeli and the American parts, the connected to my family and the focused on my own well being parts, the overachiever with the laid back parts...all of these parts of myself which must live harmoniously together.

I very much think that part of finding happiness is going to be finding a partner, a real partner who will support me and for whom I won't have to give up parts of myself but will be able to grow with. I also need a community - a lot of different relationships and connections and friendships that is Jewish, queer, academic, meditation oriented, culture oriented, and about things that are real and important - nto just connections which are trival and about a bar or escaping from life.

Part of my quest is overcoming many negative and traumatic experiences and preparing for those to come (like the loss of Grandma and Mom). I don't want to get lost in the negative anymore, but I know that I can't deny it; I have to confront it, to face it with honesty, to look at all of the negative things in the world and not lose my grounding.

Thank you to all of my blog readers, supporters, and friends who help me on this quest.