JewBu Quest: From Abuse to Happiness

JewBu: a Jew who practices forms of Buddhist meditation & spirituality. This blog documents my quest to 1) heal from sexual, verbal, and emotional abuse, 2) come to terms with losing Mom and Grandma to Alzheimers, 3) find balance, explore the spiritual, stay present. Bascially, I've experienced some pretty crappy shit in my life and want to find a way to move past it and find happiness.

Friday, June 29, 2007

Taking Care of Myself

I had called my therapist to talk with her about how I was feeling. And she was completely unhelpful. I just really got the sense that she was trying to get me off the phone. That kinda frustrated me, especially her advice to just handle the anxiety. I feel like when I have anxiety sometimes it is because I have anxious tendencies and I need to just deal with that but other times its pointing out something important and I need to pay attention to that.

But as I move away from reacting to her and being able to look more clearly at what's going on, I've decided to put a lot this weekend into taking care of myself. I went to acupuncture this morning, am getting a massage this afternoon, going to a movie with friends (after I made the first move). Tomorrow I'm going to buy myself a bicycle, get some exercise, get a facial, and go along with friends to a barbecue.

I've got a lot of work to do and am also trying to get a lot done so that I'll have time to be with Jerry when he returns. So much work!

And its just another week until I'm off to Kansas City to see my parents.

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2 Comments:

Blogger I Survive! said...

"Just manage your anxiety", doesn't sound very helpful at all. You should tell her that. But it is quite natural to feel lonely when someone close to you is not "available". I think there is also a natural anxiety that goes with it, as you worry about this becoming permanent instead of just temporary. I think this fear is particularly heightened in trauma survivors.
In any case, it sounds like you are taking the right steps by planning to keep yourself around others so you don't feel lonely.

Hang on in there, karma!

Friday, June 29, 2007 9:24:00 PM  
Blogger Karma said...

Definitely how I'm feeling now is a trauma response and a response to the way that I was raised to feel dependent upon men. Thanks for your support.

Saturday, June 30, 2007 12:01:00 PM  

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