JewBu Quest: From Abuse to Happiness

JewBu: a Jew who practices forms of Buddhist meditation & spirituality. This blog documents my quest to 1) heal from sexual, verbal, and emotional abuse, 2) come to terms with losing Mom and Grandma to Alzheimers, 3) find balance, explore the spiritual, stay present. Bascially, I've experienced some pretty crappy shit in my life and want to find a way to move past it and find happiness.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Extreme Stress

I went to acupuncture today, and while feeling my pulses, she told me that my resting pulse was at 100. It isn't so surprising considering what's happening with Mom.

Dad told me today that the person that washes residents' hair at Mom's facility is having a harder and harder time with her. Eventually, she won't be able to handle doing Mom's hair anymore, and Dad plans at that time to just stop doing her hair altogether. He said that someone can wash it on her floor and then just comb it out. Now for those of you with "normal" American hair, this might not sound like that big of a deal. But, for any of you who have frizzier hair will understand just how appalling this is. My mother has had her hair done every week for as long as I can remember. And when I've tried to fix up her hair with a hair drier myself, I had very little luck. Its complicated to fix Jewish hair, especially in older women's shorter styles.

Also, my sister told us that Mom screamed yesterday when staff put her in bed to take a nap. Apparently, she's in SOOO much pain from being in her chair all day that it hurts to even lay down. What she needs is a high backed "jerry" chair. But, her facility does not allow it. Apparently most assisted living facilities don't allow this chair, even ones like Mom's which are "age in place".

Now, I've left messages for the director of the facility, spoken with the hospice nurse, and had someone from the Alzheimer's Association go out there to try and take care of this chair issue. Hospice sent out an occupational therapist and multiple types of chairs. But, still, this issue is unresolved, and Mom's neck gets worse and worse. She can't hold up her neck anymore sometimes, and sleeping in the chair is very uncomfortable, especially when they leave her in there waaaay too much.

I have managed to negotiate/manipulate Dad into hiring a CNA to come stay with Mom from 11:30-3:30 every day starting Monday. The CNA will feed her lunch, lay her down for a nap, take her outside, and I hope feed her a snack. But, it isn't enough time. She REALLY needs someone to stay for dinner. I HATE that Mom can't get everything that could help her since my parents have a ridiculous amount of money.

Speaking of money, I did get word that Dad has officially tried to steal this money that my Mom's parents left for my sister and me (its in Mom's name now, but is set to go to us after she passes - Dad is trying to get the money before that happens despite that its specifically set up to not allow him to do that). The bank isn't going to stand for it, and since I've got some friends there, the word got back to me.

On the upside, I've been dating this fantastic man. His name is Larry, and he is very sweet, caring, sensitive....everything I could want right now. His father died 5 years ago of early onset Alzheimer's, so he also understands what I'm going through. A couple of nights ago when the Alzheimer's Association person told me that Mom is definitely on a fast path to death, Larry came over with a DVD of the Simpsons, had me make tea, and then just held me.

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Anonymous fiony said...

that very intersting!

Friday, May 23, 2008 2:10:00 PM  
Blogger April_optimist said...

It's sooooo good to see you post! And good to hear that the bank won't let your father steal the money meant for you and your sister. Continued (((hugs))) and prayers on the situation with your mother.

Monday, May 26, 2008 11:54:00 AM  
Blogger Gail Rae said...

Regarding your last paragraph: Wow! This guy sounds like a keeper!

Sunday, August 03, 2008 9:21:00 PM  
Blogger Karma said...

I think so too.

Monday, August 04, 2008 6:35:00 AM  

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