Since the crisis that happened about a month ago when my father announced once again that he intends to euthanize Mom, I have gone through a range of emotions - anger, fear, sadness, hopelessness. Through this process, a deep depression is setting in. I either cry or feel numb. I'm having problems concentrating. I feel disconnected from my friends and have a hard time being present. I'm never hungry, but I tend to overeat.
My therapist said that maybe I should consider going on an anti-depressant. I have ordered some more natural stuff online and am waiting for it to arrive in the next few days. I figure that I'll try that, and if it does not work, then I'll make an appointment with the Psychiatrist at school (whom I sometimes refer to as my pusher). I may need to go ahead and make the appointment soon since she tends to book up and have a waiting time of up to a month.
I'm trying to keep up with working out 5 times a week, making myself connect to other people and do things with others, keep plugging along with work, seeing my therapist and the counselor from Hospice, and caffeinating myself to the point of being jittery just to be able to focus. I know can feel the depression setting in, and I don't like it. I wish that there was a way out of it other than medication.
Labels: Dad, depression, medication, Mom